The Sara Adventure

Dear Gracie Leigh,

I feel like I have a lot to tell you this month. You have changed so much! It's a weird thing to say, but you're like a little person now! I know you were always a person, but you are letting your personality come out now. You are so amazing.

Some of the highlights of this month:

• You hitting physical milestones: finding your hands, holding your head up steady, putting weight on your legs, and yesterday you rolled over for the first time. You did it on accident, and you should have seen your face! You were very surprised. You did it again, but I think that one was an accident, too.
  
  
• You are now big enough to see out the top of the carrier and you love to look around. Before it got too cold you would smile at the wind in your hair.
  
  
• Nursing you in your bedroom while listening to Christmas music and watching it snow
  
  
• You smiling in response to either me or Daddy looking at you. Then smiling again when we talk to you... then again when we smile at you...
  
  
• You met the Andersons- Aunt Allison, Uncle Brandon, and your cousin, Peyton.
  
  
• As always, seeing the delight in everyone's face who meets you. That's what you are, a delight.
  
  
• Listening to you babble, coo, and talk to us. I know you have a lot to say already.
  

This month we moved from your first home on Keystone Ave, to our new home on Keeler Ave. It is much bigger and you now have your own bedroom. Surprisingly, I think we both sleep better. I don't hear your every movement, and you don't hear ours. When you get hungry, you don't cry, but instead you call out to me. You say "ooooo, ahhhhh.... ahhhhh...." until I come in to get you.

You went through a growth spurt and practically grew out of your 3mo clothes over night! You were cranky and all you wanted to do was eat. I'd be cranky, too, if I was trying to grow as much as you and work on as many skills as you are working on!

Love, your Momma

They said to be spontaneous. Do whatever you feel like before the baby comes, because after she's here you won't be able to. Well, that's true, and we did, and I still wish we could go see a movie now... what did that solve? Also, that had me running all over town when I was huge and pregnant and just wanted to be home. Nonsensical advice really.

I might be almost back to my pre-pregnancy weight, but I don't look like or feel like my pre-pregnancy self. Like most non-pregnant women, I was thrilled the other day when someone asked me when my baby was due. Bastard. (sorry about my language)(but not really).

I want to try the new pumpkin pie pop-tarts. Disgustingly bad for you. Definitely not a breakfast food. Probably delicious.

I want all my friends to have babies. Baby girls. and now.

I can't get enough of Alan and Grace. I love to be with them, and I love to see them together. It is heaven on earth in my own little home.

I decided during pregnancy that going without caffeine wasn't that bad, and that I was going to keep it to a minimum forever. That was before a baby woke me 2-3 times every night. Now the best part of wakin up is foldgers in my cup.

I am starting to realize that every day with a child is special. Today would seem like a regular day to most- cleaning, feeding the baby, taking a shower... but it's also special. Grace made noises she's never made, spent a little time examining those weird things attached to her arms, took her first bath without the newborn sling, and smiled in excitement at the wind in her little baby hairs! It was such an exciting regular day to me : )

It's hard to get any packing done when all I want to do is show her new things. I'm pretty sure I've been wearing her out, because she's been sleeping really well. What a good baby, I love her so much.

Tomorrow you will be 2 months old. We will be headed to Louisville to see Nana and Papaw- they can't wait. It's been a month since they've seen you, which doesn't seem long to me, but you've changed so much! Then we will go to Lexington because your Aunt Alyssa is getting married. You are going to spend Sunday night with Nana and Papaw without us. I am very nervous. I haven't been away from you for more than about 3-4 hours since you came home! I know it will be nice to sleep so long without you waking me up, but I'm so freaked out!

You got your first round of vaccines at the doctor the other day. It made you very upset and we both cried. You are very healthy:

As of November 2nd:
Weight: 11lbs
Length: 23 1/8 inches
Head: 14 7/8 inches

You are getting so strong. You can hold your head up for long periods of time. Even though you don't like being on your belly you can lift your head and shoulders up for a while. You have been talking up a storm. I repeat the noises back to you and you seem to find that funny. I love it when I come to pick you up and you smile at me. It's as though you are saying "I'm so happy to see you!" You are such a delight to be around, Gracie. I love watching you grow- embracing every new moment and cherishing the past- realizing you will never be this way again.

The picture on here is already about a week old. You grow so fast, I need to take a picture every day! I can't wait for you to discover your hands... could be any day : )

I can't make a recipe the way it comes. Pretty much ever. I made Apple Spice cookies- dairy and egg free. Someone in our house church is terribly lactose intolerant and so he can be difficult to bake for. However, here is the delicious recipe before and after it got my makeover:

Most people are aware that babies and children hit "milestones" that give parents and doctors an idea about how development is going. For example, Grace can track objects with her eyes- that is a milestone she achieved. Well, I found these 6 week milestones for mommy, and they made me laugh out loud!

• You managed to get through the first paragraph of a news article before you nodded off. No worries, those first few sentences will give you something other than baby burping to talk about at the next family gathering. (Although you'll probably talk non-stop about burping, anyway.)
• You discovered a new parent truism: It doesn't matter that you're now a swaddling pro—your baby's an even better pro at breaking free from being swaddled!
• You've mastered the midnight baby feeding, changing and re-snapping the pajamas routine.
• You've embraced the fact that some days you don't get out the door until noon... and that there's nothing wrong with that!
• You remembered that the phrase "getting busy" can mean something other than trying to change a diaper, answer the phone and recite "This Little Piggy" at the same time (even if you didn't actually "get busy").

My friend Jillian writes to her son every month so that some day he can read about his wonderful childhood. She writes about his achievements and all the fun times they spend together. I've decided to do the same thing. I may forget some months, but that will just mean we were having too much fun for writing!

Today you are one month old. It may not seem like much, but it's been a life changing month for me- and for you! Life was a little scary for you at first. We had to be away from each other when you spent time in the nursery, and it was hard for me and Daddy. You just had a little trouble adjusting to your new world, and needed some time to rest before coming home. You are so strong though, and you got through it.

Speaking of how strong you are, you have been able to push back against me from the day you were born. You can already lift your head and turn it from side to side. You love to kick your legs and wiggle all around. Sometimes you grab at your hair or your nose. You can now keep my gaze and love to look me right in the eyes while you are nursing. When you hear a voice you can loo towards it, and you can find me or Daddy in a crowd.

This morning, very very early, you were done eating and I thought you were falling asleep on my lap. I was checking some e-mail before putting you back in your bed and you said "ahhooo" or something to that affect (you know, just a sweet little coo noise). I looked down at you in surprise that you were back awake, so I smiled at you, and you gave me a big smile back! I then told you how beautiful you are and you smiled again. Your Daddy and I love you so much. All the books say not to expect a responsive smile this early, but you are a genius : )

At the pediatrician today:
22 3/8 inches long
9lb 5oz weight
14 3/8 head circumference

She said you look very good. I was so proud when you smiled at her. She said it was very early for you to be doing that! You are now enjoying sleeping in your swing on this gorgeous fall day. I'm not sure if that is a bad habit or not, but I do it anyway. You have some reflux, so sitting up while sleeping helps you not spit up so much.

So, happy one month birthday, Gracie. You are a wonderful blessing to us, and we couldn't ask for a better daughter. I can't believe how fast you are growing. What a miraculous display of God's creation!

Giving birth is a life changing experience. Having a newborn is even more of a life changing experience. For the first week of Grace's life she was something to worry about, and difficult to enjoy. Being in the nursery was hard on us, and by the time she came home I was so emotionally exhausted, that I already needed a break from her. I was overwhelmed. For the first week she was home I cried every day. It seemed like she was trapping me and I had all these thoughts about "why in the world did I want this?!" She puked on me twice and had diarrhea, and I thought for sure she was sick already. She was eating all the time. I mean, often hour after hour and I didn't have enough milk for her. We kept trying but she was so upset. I wanted to quit nursing.

But then things changed. After she was two weeks old and past her first growth spurt, we became different people. I started smiling at her and seeing what other people saw. She was so beautiful, and she already loved me so much. I finally looked at her and saw my daughter, not a burden. That's when I realized that bonding isn't immediate for everyone, especially women who have been separated from their babies at the beginning. I want to encourage women with newborns to not feel guilty if it's not love at first sight. Having a new baby IS hard and it IS a burden at first. Don't let anyone tell you how you are supposed to feel.

I finally started playing with her, and kissing her. Instead of being anxious when she started to wake up I became excited. I can't wait to hear her little noises and kiss her little cheeks. What a difference a couple weeks can make! It's not always easy... in fact, most of the time it's not. She has a lot of demands, and I often can't figure out what she needs right away. However, she is amazing. She can smile at me, and make little noises. Sometimes she even laughs as she falls asleep! She grows right before my eyes... out of some of her clothes already! She knows my voice and listens close when I start talking.

My point is I've always loved my daughter, but now I'm starting to feel like I know her. Hard to imagine life without her already. Some days I wish she could tell me what she wants, but I also realize that some day I will wish she was 3 weeks old again. My job now is to enjoy her as she is, and be amazed at how quickly she is growing.

So my mom told me I should start blogging again. She said it's more personal than facebook, which is where she generally sees my daily thoughts. She likes to read what I have to say. Well, of course she does, she is my mom. Now that I'm a mom I know that you care about everything your child does. If Grace gets her diaper changed by someone else, I even want to know in great detail what they found inside. So, my mom wanting to read what I write is not necessarily enough motivation for me to start up my blog again.

I decided to just start writing and see where I ended up. I want to see if blogging is enjoyable. Let me think, why would I write a blog? Probably to get things off my chest or out of my mind. You know, that whole idea of once you write it down or tell someone you are free from it. That would make the audience of the blog myself. I could write to inform others of what's going on in my life. That would make my audience my mom, which is why I started writing today anyway. I guess I could write to encourage or inspire people. Tell my thoughts in an effort to make people feel warm and fuzzy.

You know, maybe I could write for all 3 of those audiences. I could just write whatever I want and readers should just be aware that you never know what you're going to get! If I warn you, then you can't have expectations. So don't. You are reading my journal, with little to no filter.

So a couple weeks ago was Doppelganger week, and I couldn't find one... then I decided it was my mom! I know she's not famous, but check out this old pic of her... I swear it's like we're related ; )




I am in a winter funk! What will it take to get me back to normal? Glad you asked.

• Flowers- plant them, pick them, all of the above! Peonies please : )
• A little sun tan- I said little, not cancer causing
• Sun Dress- with expandable waist this time... did I mention flip flops?
• Hair dye- waiting another couple weeks until Baby Boyle is more resistant... although I've been given the go ahead by Dr. I dont think I'm going to go back this time- shock!
  
• More exercise- warm weather will bring lots of walking, but for now there is swimming and prenatal yoga.

I have hope that spring is right around the corner. Alan and I bought seeds to start inside, and they will be ready for outdoors in about 8 weeks! Hope the frost is gone by then. I'm so ready to open up the windows and air this place out : ) Guess I will sit by sunny windows for now.