The Sara Adventure

What does it mean for my soul to have peace or rest? I feel like my soul is restless right now... tossing and turning in bed... pondering its existence. I have gone from somewhat apathetic about my current spiritual life to almost sick about it.

There is a battle going on inside me between the godly parts and the parts I hate. You know what I mean, you have them, too. They are all the things that keep you from being who you want to be; who God wants you to be. Those things right now are fighting for their existence inside of me, trying to bring me down. If I ignore them, they will do just that.

The Evil One is strategic. It knows that there are a lot of things I don't care much about, like making money, moving up in a career, or having a nice car. I am all about people, and The Evil One knows. When I'm at my weakest, evil strikes my relationships and my compassion for others. Worse than dislike is apathy. When I let evil take over I become cynical about the nature of God's people, of His creation. I forget that they are loved by Him, and I should try to see them the way He does. I instead, hope for the demise of the lady that can't park, and I wish punishment upon those who do not act, by my definition, decently in public. I let the people of this world tell me what is important. I wish for credit and recognition on earth. I desire to be looked up to, to have an influence on people. I decide to base my worth on these things.

So how do I decide to care about people again? How do I rid my soul of hatred and apathy? How do I find my value through God? My soul certainly has feelings, and they keep in check. I appreciate the unrest, and the groaning of my soul, which fights for what is right. I hope that I will never feel at peace if I am not trying to live the way God wants me to.